


Calamitous Christmastime

by CryoInferno



Category: Calamity Mod, Terraria
Genre: Christmas fic, F/F, Other, and anahita, and both u/MoongodRai057 and u/Roserade_Nuzlockes for being semi-interested in reading this, and permafrost/cryogen, and the leviathan, cirrus is mentioned, i finished this way too late im sorry, i just wanted an excuse to write brimmy and calamitas kissing, oh also dog is genderfluid, semi-inspired by a post on r/calamitymod, so is nahlyn, so shoutouts to u/cutechickdGaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28544172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CryoInferno/pseuds/CryoInferno
Summary: Calamitas delivers Christmas presents, and attends a party.
Relationships: Calamitas/Brimstone Elemental, Devourer of Gods/Astralgeldon Slime
Kudos: 4





	Calamitous Christmastime

The twenty-fourth of December snuck up on the witch too fast. With all the decorations up since November, and a constant overcast, she had lost all track of time.

Calamitas got up, stretching, haphazardly throwing on a t-shirt and pants. Amber eyes scanning the room for anything amiss, but nothing dared enter her room, even while asleep. She walked over to her stove, pouring some water into her kettle to boil. The magical concept of electric kettles were still strange to her, but it let her make coffee without using any magic, so she liked it.

A knock at her door. She sighed, walked over, and opened it. Hikari, the newly-arrived princess, stood outside innocently. The two hadn't met directly, but everyone liked the princess. "Hello! I have a message for you!" The young girl chirped. The edges of Calamitas' mouth twitched up. Hikari handed a letter over to her, which she accepted. While the girl in pink pranced away down the hall, the witch opened her letter.

The pink paper, words written in purple glitter glue, and overly girly stickers stuck all over confirmed that Hikari had very obviously written it. Well, everything she'd heard about her was right, it was impossible to not at least smile because of that girl. Reading through, it definitely read like it was written by a thirteen-year-old girl. Wrong capitalization, overuse of exclamation points, little hearts where an 'o' or the dot of an I should go, etc.

An invitation to a Christmas party? Eh, why not. She needed to be more social anyway. She wouldn't do this normally, why now? Maybe Hikari had left her in high spirits. She went back over to her kettle, pouring some black coffee. It was her favorite way to drink it, she had gotten a taste for the bitter liquid from her time with the tyrant. She opened her blinds, and looked over at the sky. Coming up on sunrise, just how she liked it. Picking up a bunch of gift-wrapped boxes, throwing them into her void bag, and putting on her boots, she opened her window and jumped out.

\\\\\\\\\\\

"I gotta use the stairs…" Calamitas grumbled.

Once again she had taken flight, gliding over the snow-covered ground. First stop: Jungle. Then the tundra. After that, the astral infection, and then finally the crag. She had to check up on all the reformation projects going on anyway, and since she was going, why not drop off some gifts while she was at it? Plus, she didn't need to worry about giving duplicates, since everything was handmade. She had spent a long time on making everything. Flying over the trees, she was almost at the jungle.

Ugh. She still had a vendetta against that place. Being practically enslaved by Yharim, and all. And she hated the humidity.

Flying down the giant pit in the middle of the biome, red sparks trailing behind, she came down to a stop. She could walk the rest of the way. Besides, she didn't want to catch anything on fire. The sweet buzz of the virulings and the melted whirrs of the plaguebringers brought her a bit of calm. Petting a melter, the humid tunnel opened up into a large arena, built by the land's hero all the way back since before the Wall was defeated. Two people stood on the platforms, watching the plagued monsters go by.

The first was Yharim, the jungle dragon. In his dragon form at the moment, his red and gold scales shone from the light of the numerous torches. As Calamitas walked into the room, he looked up and 'smiled'. A dragon couldn't really smile, but he tried. "Heya, Yhar. Thought I'd swing by." She said casually. The dragon morphed into his more human form, a tall man in a red and gold suit, with a short-ish tail poking out behind him. He was, admittedly, pretty hot, the witch thought to herself.

"'Sup, C?" He asked. He was the only one she was fine with calling her 'C', and that was just because of their history together. "Eh, just wanted to get more social, you know? Talk to some people, stuff like that." She responded. From below them, a plagued metallic teenage girl flew upwards. Her bee-like frame shot up like a bullet, stinger glinting in the light, red eyes glowing against her long green hair. Her wings buzzed rapidly as she hovered down to the ground.

"Hell sector finally decontaminated. Fuckin' nightmare. It is so god damn hot down there." Virili, the plague princess groaned. Upon seeing Calamitas, she started shivering on impulse. The two hadn't met, but they had seen each other through photos. Something photos couldn't represent was how much taller Virili was than the witch. "Greetings." Calamitas said, extending her hand. The princess took it delicately, still nervous. They shook hands for a very short time, before Virili pulled back. "h-hello, c-c-calamitas…" She stuttered. "Eh, don't be nervous, she's more harmless than a dried out squid." Yharon reassured. "Wha-you-I am NOT!" She sputtered indignantly, blushing. "Heh, you still get embarrassed so easily." He chuckled. Calamitas blushed harder, face in her hands.

Looking away, she opened up her void storage, and took out two boxes. "For tomorrow. Thought it's time I actually be nice to people." She explained, still embarrassed. "t-thanks!" Virili said timidly. "Well, look at'cha. Comin' out of ya comfort zone, eh?" Yharon said. "I just wanna be nice for a change." Calamitas admitted. "And I have a sort of job to do. Mind walking me around here so I can see how reformations have been going?"

\\\\\\\\\\\

"C, ya never hug anyone. Never. Why ya doin' it now? Not that I mind, 'course." Yharon asked, as they walked through the jungle halls. Calamitas was holding herself against Yharon's side.

"…sssshut up." She said, blushing.

The reformations were fine, and moving quite rapidly. A plague sanctuary had been set up above the hell sector, above a bubbling pool of toxic acid. The dragon man giggled at her, making her blush harder. "gotta check on astral now." She diverted. "Well, see ya C." He responded, smirking. She flared her brimstone flaming wings, and shot out of the jungle.

Next stop: Astral infection. Give gifts to AG, Aureus, Deus, and DoG. And try to calm her nerves on the way. The sickening humidity was left behind, as she flew across the barren desert. Overcast clouds blocked out the sun. The desert sands shifted hues to purple-speckled lavender, as the air took on the smell of rain. The infection lay spread out in front of her, shifting from sand to grass to snow even further on. She stopped 'flying', and started to glide down near where the grass met the snow. Flying took effort, and a bit of magic to keep afloat. Gliding, on the other hand, was much easier on her, as she simply had to keep her wings extended.

Her eyes widened.

She dove down to the side, as a beam of energy obliterated where she was just at. She shot down to the surface, rolling onto the ground, a trail of red sparks trailing behind her. "BITCH!" She yelled. Spotting a small patch in the snow, she teleported over in a burst of flame. DoG was aiming another shot at her, before realizing who they were shooting at. "SORRY!" They yelled. She groaned, and started to walk over. The sight of the infection, all covered in ice and snow, was a beautiful sight, glittering in the cloud-covered sunlight.

Of course DoG was the one who impulse-shot at her. At least she knew how to dodge.

While lazily walking along, she absentmindedly thought what pronouns they were using today. Their voice was higher today, her, maybe? Perhaps him but they were just surprised? Hm. Reaching the edge of the snow, the crunchy white powder melted in a small area wherever she walked. It was something that happened naturally, the aura of heat, but she could turn it off if she wanted. It had a habit of turning back on at random, however.

Calamitas, the witch able of destroying hell in a single night, couldn't control a tiny little heat field. It was ironic when she thought about it.

Rounding the corner, she nearly bumped into a scouting Aureus. "[Apologies, Calamitas.]" It said, it's massive frame towering over the witch. It was one of the few that preferred their monstrous form over their human version. Astralgeldon could shift between any body she wanted, Deus had ten bodies of all different genders, each with a worm tail in place of legs, and they could shift their main consciousness between them at any time. Calamitas snapped out of her thoughts, realizing she had been daydreaming about space worms and slimes when she had a job to do. "No problem." She said, walking past.

AG and DoG were standing in a clearing and-yup, yeah, DoG was definitely she today. _"Jesus, put some clothes on."_ Calamitas thought to herself. DoG's giant tail was curled up around the whole clearing, multiple bodies of Deus snuggled up against different segments. She inhaled, exhaled, and made her entrance.

"Bonjour, bitches." She said casually, stepping in to the worm-surrounded area. "Sup, fucker." DoG responded. "What's poppin', pussy?" The Astralgeldon Slime added, currently in human-like form, half-melted onto part of DoG's tail. "Salutations, shithead." One of the many bodies of Deus said as well. "Yeah, yeah, hey gals. 'M here to check on reformations, all that shit. You know." The witch said, putting down all of the various presents she had prepared for her friends. "Oh, that? Stuff's all finished, yeah. Have a Deus take ya 'round, don't wanna move right now." AG said, sighing and melting further into DoG's shiny armor.

\\\\\\\\\\\

"And this is the chasm, it's been reformed into an ore quarry. Since we can't get rid of the Infection, this was the next best option. Besides, I couldn't allow it." Deus said. The body explaining all of this was non-binary, as that was the one they decided would go with her. "Thanks, Deus. Now that all this is over, we haven't had a cosmic get-together in a while, don't you think?" She mentioned. "Did you just look for an excuse to come over~?" Deus said. "…Yeah." Calamitas admitted.

The two walked for a few minutes back to everyone else. AG was melted even further, looking closer to a puddle. "So that's what happened with those two. As far as I know, he's still pissed at her." DoG said, having obviously just finished telling a story to AG and the nine other bodies of Deus. "Hey, I'm back. Lemme download everything for a sec." The currently main Deus said, gaining all of the information gathered by their semi-sentient other bodies. Their collective eyes widened. "He did WHAT?" All of them said, amazed. "aaaaaaaaaaknow, right?" AG slurred. "ssshis' craaaazy." "Yeah, and don't get me started on how Nahlyn's been handling things." DoG giggled.

"Oooooh, her. She's been… Not good. To say the very least." Calamitas said. "She's at either Cirrus' place or the tavern, basically 24/7. She's come over a few times to my place, actually, just to cry her eyes out." She continued. "That's… Kinda sad. On a similar note, fuck Anahita, she sucks." DoG added. "yeeeeeeee, ana's an asssss." AG said, barely recognizable and looking like some purple sludge. "How did she even get the Leviathan to ditch Nahlyn anyway?" One of the Deuses asked. "Mmmmm… Mind control, brainwashing torture, pure dumb luck, dunno really. I know it wasn't Nahlyn's fault, she and the Leviathan were still together right up until a few days after Anahita showed up." DoG said. "That was… A week ago, now?" A male body of Deus asked. "It's been a week, yeah. And Nahlyn's been alone for… Five days? Four? Something around that." Calamitas said. "Also… Has anyone actually… Seen the Leviathan recently?" "Ahm… Uh… I dunno. They aren't… Dead, are they?" The smallest body of Deus asked timidly. "…I don't know." Calamitas admitted. Everyone was silent. "well, ttthis was more depressssing, donya tttthhink?" AG remarked, her body more reformed. "…Yeah. I've, uh, gotta go. Hell reformation check." Calamitas said, getting uncomfortable with the situation and rushing out.

\\\\\\\\\\\

The pit to hell wasn't too far. It was right on the intersection of the infection and the ocean, next to the dungeon. Red light gleamed out of the yawning pit. Looks like the Blazing Core was going a bit haywire. Stretching her wings as far as she could, she dove down into the hole to hell.

The walls down had been outfitted with red, pulsing lights, as well as various spikes. The stale wind rushed past, dry branches in the caverns set alight. Faster and faster, as the air turned from icy cold to blistering heat. A few more seconds, and the tunnel opened up into the spiked abyss of the brimstone crag. Ugh, this place. She was always so uncomfortable here. Trauma from burning it to the ground had haunted her for her whole life. Descending down slowly, she landed in the center of the not-as-scorched-anymore capital.

"Rosieeee~!" A high pitched voice called from the corner, before a bright red female figured dashed into Calamitas.

"Hiya, Brimmy." The witch said, blushing. Somehow, against all odds, the Brimstone Elemental really, really liked her. And against even more odds, Calamitas felt the same way. Also, yes, Calamitas' chosen name was Rose. It was girly, compared to other ideas she had, but it was the one she liked the most. Getting up, the two looked around. "Huh, Provi should be aro~ound here somewhere…" Brimmy thought aloud. "Mmm… I think I saw her up in the Hallow earlier." Rose said. "Awww… At least you're here! You want to see how everything's reformed, right?" Brimmy asked. "Mhm. It looks like things are quite a bit different since last time." Rose said, looking around.

The buildings had been torn down and rebuilt, giant obsidian spires reaching up to hell's sky. Wandering souls floated by, occasionally running into each other and running away.

"Aaaaaand that's it! That's aaaaaaall we have done." Brimmy finished. Before Rose could say a thing, the elemental grabbed her arm and rushed over to a small building. In about ten seconds, the two were sprawled on the couch at Brimmy's house. "Sooooo, what are you doing today~?" The elemental asked, leaning onto one of the couch's armrests. "Just… Uh… Giving out presents, and looking over reformations…" Rose answered. "Ooooh! Do I have one?" Brimmy asked. Rose opened her void bag, pulling out a small present for the scarlet-skinned elemental. "Aaaaaaah! Thank you sooooo much!" Brimmy squealed, hugging Rose as tight as she could. "n-no problem…" She responded, blushing.

Brimmy hopped up, rushing over to her small kitchen. "I forgot to eat today. Have you had anything?" She asked. "…No, I wanted to get to things fast as I could." Rose admitted. "Aww! I'll make something for you then." Brimmy responded, throwing a few things together on the stovetop. Somehow, the elemental was very good at cooking. Using some of the little water she had, she had decided to make a kind of soup, full of ingredients that Rose didn't know the name of. She wasn't one for cooking, herself. She lay down on the couch, counting in her head what she had left to do. Leave a present for Provi, clean her dress for the party… That was pretty much it. Nothing else to do. Taxes were done last month, the group Minecraft server session was planned for tomorrow, the pumpkin moon was done a while ago, and all of the residents of her apartment complex were off doing their own thing.

"Food is ready!" Brimmy said, setting two bowls on her coffee table. Rose thanked her quietly, drinking a few spoonfuls. The two mostly ate in silence, Brimmy piping up with some random words every now and again. Rose always wondered why the elemental was like this. Almost constantly happy, saying unconnected words at random, switching moods at the drop of one copper, Rose couldn't really understand her. She loved her for it, of course, but all of the other elementals were depressed all the time. Plus, she didn't understand why Brimmy loved her of all people.

She burned the elemental, plus her home, to the ground. And Brimmy just kind of ignored it. Weird. Soon, both of their food was finished. Rose pulled a larger present out of the bag, and set it down. "'s for Provi." She said. "Ooh! I'll put it under the tree!" Brimmy said excitedly, grabbing it and rushing over to their tree. "Cya, Brim." Rose said. "Bye-bye~!" Brimmy called back.

Back in her home, she tore through her closet for her dress. She hadn't worn it in ages, so it was buried in the back somewhere. Rummaging through, scraping her arms on various sharp objects and weaponry, she pulled it out.

A deep red and dark silver, similar in design to a Victorian style. The long skirt's folds were ruffled, while the trim of the top parts were made of polished, dark bloodstone. The dress was parted in the middle, the witch putting on a black, button-down shirt underneath, a beautiful scarlet jewel inset in the middle on the same level at her heart. It was always a bit confusing to put on, but she eventually did it just fine. Heading into the bathroom , she picked up a hairbrush from the counter, running it through her tangled hair repeatedly. She hadn't brushed it in days, and had forgotten to cut it for months. She looked down at the party invitation again, and at her watch. One hour left, at the base of the apartment complex.

She was nervous. Firstly, she had never worn that dress in public, and secondly, she was Calamitas. None of the other residents had directly antagonized her, though, so hopefully that wouldn't start today. She kept brushing for almost five minutes until it was all straightened as it could be. Looking around, she picked up a small top hat, in the same colors as her dress. The invitation did say to dress up, and shooting a text to her and a few others confirmed that she had the right idea. Looking out the window, a lot of people had gathered outside. Everyone she knew had arrived at the entrance, and were talking among their own small groups.

Off behind the crowd, Yharon was standing above everyone, in an even fancier suit than before. He was talking to a petrified-looking Virili. The Astral team was joking with each other, DoG's tail a lot shorter, AG fully solidified, and each body of Deus doing their own separate, but not that separate thing. Cryoge-er, Permafrost, was looking astonishingly good for his age. The two worms were begrudgingly next to each other. Even Nahlyn, who Calamitas had seen at the bar for hours last night, had put herself in a dress for the occasion.

She decided to wait, listening to various LemKuuja songs on repeat until it was time to head downstairs. While she was walking down the stairs, she got a text from DoG. Apparently they had been waiting for her outside. Calamitas switched routes, opening her window. "Hey C!" Deus called. The witch cast a fire immunity spell on herself and her clothes, and teleported down to the ground in a burst of flame. She still hadn't figured out how to teleport without any fire yet, but she really didn't mind too much. Just took a second or two to protect her clothes and anything else on her. The flames dissipated, and she was on the ground. "Wow, you look nice. Never seen you in a dress before." AG said. The slime and DoG were both in a suit, and every body of Deus was in a suit or dress. "Well, shall we enter?" DoG asked, looking over at the party's entrance.

\\\\\\\\\\\

The four, well, thirteen of them entered the hall with flair. The witch didn't want there to be any flair, but DoG had…

Other ideas.

They burst into the room in a flare of blue and purple, to cheer from everyone who used to work for Yharim and nobody else.

Except for Cirrus. Cirrus cheered.

Nobody really knew who the host was, so everyone was already just doing their own thing. Somebody had put on Christmas music over the speakers, but nobody knew who did it. Deus had each of their bodies trickle in slowly, as to not overwhelm the room with so many copies of the same person. Everyone slowly started to intermingle and talk with each other.

"Rosieeeeee~!" Brimmy called from across the room. The witch cringed at the elemental calling her by her preferred name in public. Luckily, nobody noticed. She walked through the crowd, avoiding contact with other people as much as she could. "Hi, Brimmy. Care for a drink?" Rose asked. "Sure!" Brimmy accepted, taking a wine glass from the red-dressed witch. The two walked over to a quiet corner of the room. "Okokokokokok, I… Need to get this out. And I want to hear your response before we get drunk and more irrational than Cirrus." Rose near-hyperventilated. "Ok! …What is it?" Brimmy tilted her head. "So… God, why am I still so nervous… I like you. A lot. I've liked you like this for… A while now. So… I… I love you, ok!?" Rose blurted out.

Brimmy flushed. "i…" She started, her breathing getting faster. "i love you too, rosie…" She said quietly. Both of them had their face in their hands, embarrassed. "w-wanna… y-you wanna k-kiss~?" Brimmy asked quietly. Rose brought her over to the very corner, into a small area that nobody could see into. Her heart was racing fast. Being a bit less nervous about this, Brimmy was the one that brought their heads close. Rose took a few deep breaths, and the two kissed.

They didn't know how long they did it for, nor did they care. But by the end, both of them were gasping for oxygen. "s-so… does this make us girlfriends now~?" Brimmy asked. Rose nodded. They left the small corner they had hid themselves in, both ready to see who dared to challenge Cirrus to a drinking contest this time.

\\\\\\\\\\\

_"Mental note, do NOT let Brimmy near the alcohol."_ Calamitas thought to herself, dragging an extremely drunk elemental out of the room. The party was a… 'Success', she supposed. Everyone certainly got very enthusiastic about it.

Cirrus was… Enthusiastic in her own way, but all of the Deuses made sure to get her out of the building quickly.

The witch herself had tied up the skirt of her dress a bit higher, as to not catch it on anything outside. "rrrrosieeeeeeeeee…~" Brimmy murmured. "Just hold on a little…" Rose said, doing her normal flame-proof and flame-teleport spell combination. "eheheheeee~, you're so warm…~" The elemental hugged Rose tight. Rose took off her shoes, and they collapsed onto her couch. She pulled a blanket over the two of them. "night…~" Brimmy slurred, passing out near-instantly. Rose looked around her, magically closing the window and blinds, before placing a kiss on the elemental's cheek. "night night." She whispered, before joining her girlfriend in sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i took way too long on this im sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


End file.
